Transcript: Episode 20, Intersections of Dhamma and Race: Insights in an Unjust World
Following is the full transcript for the interview about Dhamma and Race, which appeared on September 29, 2020. This transcript was made possible by Artificial Intelligence (AI) and has not been checked by any human reader. Because of this, many of the words may not be accurate in this text. This is particularly true of speakers who have a stronger accent, as AI will make more mistakes interpreting and transcribing their words. For that reason, this transcript should not be cited in any article or document without checking the timestamp to confirm the exact words that the guest has really said.
Host 00:00
Before getting into today's episode, we'd like to take a moment to remind everyone that our work is 100% listener supported. In fact, no team member receives full remuneration for their work. Some volunteer their time, while others offer massive discounts for the professional services. Yet the reality is, every episode we produce does have a cost. Any contribution of any amount that you make towards the Insight Myanmar podcast will help us continue our work and pump out content related to the Dhamma in the golden land. To learn more about how you can contribute, go to Insight myanmar.org slash donation. That's one word Insight Myanmar i en si gh T, and yanmar.org slash donation. With that enjoy the show that
00:48
follows. Hey, what's up?
Host 01:46
Today's episode, titled insights in an unjust world is the third and our ongoing intersections of Dhamma and race podcast series. Regular listeners may know that we began this series because of the widespread anti racism movement that grew out of the George Floyd killing in June. Although our podcast typically concentrates within the wide field of Burma Dhamma related topics, we felt that the current moment was so profound and important that we needed to allocate our limited resources to exploring this dynamic. I'll be it from a perspective that was grounded in faith and discipline within the Buddhist teachings. Our first episode asked guests to talk about their experiences with racism and its Nexus within their Dhamma practice. One aspect of those discussions was to examine how racial identity and racial prejudice manifests even within Dhamma environments and practice. events have not led up culminating in the recent police killing of Jacob Blake, which generated both peaceful protests and also violence. At this time of increased tensions. Particularly in my home country of America, there was a sore need for personal reflection and introspection, deep and active listening of the other, and communication across all boundaries and communities. Because how can we hope to change positively, either as individuals or as a society if we don't take the time to learn about our neighbors. And when that learning is taking place under the bedrock of the Buddhist timeless teachings of liberation, there is the possibility of living through these difficult days together, and ultimately advancing on the path together.
03:22
Anyway, wouldn't
Host 03:23
that be nice? Well, I hope that the following episode, as well as the other shows within this series, can play at least some positive role in pushing the needle towards that direction. Because these are not easy conversations. I hope that has meditative listeners. We can breathe through the discomfort that such sensitive dialogue and sometimes bring about. With all that in mind, we asked several black meditators and monastics how their Dhamma practice was informing their views and understandings of this particular moment. their answers are vulnerable, as well as courageous at once inspirational and educational. In an age where everyone seems to have an opinion, consisting of 280 characters or less parceled out every few minutes, the cacophony of voices is ever present, and yet also often overwhelming. But this is not the case with the voices that follow. We listeners are treated to a deeply reflective and introspective look at how black practitioners have applied Dhamma wisdom to the pain of racism and prejudice. With that, I'll step out of the way and let these voices speak for themselves. I hope you benefit as much from hearing them as we did while producing this episode.
Bhante Panna 04:38
Peace blessings, love and light. This is brother on the path. But for those that are a little closer to me, and know me a little more intimately. My name is blunt. They've been Yeah. One thing for sure. I'm from Seattle, Washington. And currently living in Thailand. As a Buddhist monk, I've been a Buddhist monk for about three years now. I ordained as a Buddhist monk in Cambodia following the forest monk tradition. And after about a year living in Cambodia and moved to Thailand, where I was able to develop more learning and practice of Vipassana anapanasati style of meditation, which is breathing, focusing on the breath, meditation that has been pretty useful for my life, and useful for my practice in developing mindfulness. We don't have a really big family in Seattle, Washington, just have a a brother and a sister. I'm the middle child. And I can say that my family is pretty proud and happy of me for becoming a monk, and I'm the first in my whole entire family that's ever did something so drastic, such a different life choice, and they're pretty happy about the results that I am sharing with them. Professionally, I'm a teacher, before I became a monk, I was a teacher, I've been teaching English and other odd subjects in the mode of English for about 13 years. And I'm also just in doing a lot of world traveling throughout Africa, Middle East Asia. And if you consider maybe the UK, or Canada, but I don't know if he said that travel. I do love those places a lot. But I didn't stay in it for as long as I've stayed in. The other places that I've just spoken about. Becoming a Buddhist monk was something that was a big turning point in my life. When I first moved to Thailand. For a position as a teacher, I became in contact with, I got a contact with Buddhist Coltrane, Tera vaada Buddhist tradition, and I was amazed at what I had witnessed and what I saw, from the temples, seeing the monks, and the way that the people revered, the monks and the tradition of Buddhism. And I was automatically engaged at that moment. being raised and born in a Abrahamic, faith based family. I was very intrigued by the hermit like, or ascetic practices, the prophets and saints that you read about inside of the biblical texts, Jesus, Moses, and reading these things really motivated me to want to know more about the spiritual realm of life. So I was very naturally inclined to this spiritual lifestyle from an early age until now, being a monk from African American descent, or Aboriginal descent, is also something that is very surprisingly amazing and beautiful experience with all its ups and downs, is also a very beautiful experience. Because what I've learned through meditation, and Buddhism is something I will be able to take back to my community and share with them the things that I've learned that maybe they are we have never really been in contact with before ever, so it's a responsibility but a beautiful responsibility. And it actually helps my practice, it helps me want to do better and be more sincere in my practice. So therefore I don't tarnish the image that the Buddha has prescribed for us. And I'd like to see more people from the African diaspora becoming involved and Buddhist practice as a monk, or at least a practitioner of Vipassana personnel and learn how to apply the skills that will learn from Buddhism and their everyday life. I was a very normal, normal upbringing, not too wild, not too docile. I would consider myself to be very average, average kid. And taking the path of meditation and Buddhism is a raft that I carry myself across triplet turbulent waters, was probably the best thing that I've ever done in my life. It is the best thing that I've done in my life. And why I say that is not because of the way I feel. But because of the results that I see that lead to have led to and paved the way for more tranquility, peacefulness in my life, so many accidents, problems, arguments, unnecessary emotional roller coaster and has been avoided, because of the ordination, of becoming a monk, and following the teachings of the Buddha, the best that I can in my life, applying the practice of Vipassana mindfulness in my life. Buddhism has been the, the prime catalyst in my life to help me change the way that I see my position as a human being in this world. It has led me to shed off all of these characters that I had entertained in my life previously. That were probably most likely the reason why I was entertaining so much suffering, on consistency, and unsafe efficient behaviors, actions and thought previously in my life. It is because the teachings of the Buddha, I'm able to think, before I act, apply wisdom, before emotion, to see things through the eyes of wisdom, instead of the action of impulse, the path that I chose, really works wonders, if you follow the teachings of meditation, mindfulness of your breathing and learning how to spread love, compassion, awareness, mindfulness, equanimity to other people. I'm no longer just looking to be happy for no reason to so I can drown out the sorrows that are in life. But I'm happy because being happy is something that is attainable. Not through a physical element, but happy because there is tranquility in my mind. Knowing that there is a place where I can go, in my mind brings me happiness, knowing that the results of my actions are causing more tranquility in dispelling and getting rid of my behaviors. My defilements or my misjudgments, getting rid of these, and replacing it with something of better quality makes me very happy. And I think that that's, I think that's worth staying a little bit longer on the path. And working harder and not minding, doing some of the things that others will find to be very troublesome. There is trouble on the path at times, because I do have to understand that there isn't anyone that I've met so far, that has like me on the path and the only black month that I've met in three years period. And we do get a level of treatment that is different from others. And sometimes they can be out of naivety. Or sometimes they could be out of malice. But it's still not enough to stop me from becoming a better person. The actions or ignorance of someone else is their mistake. That's their karma. But the way I respond to it would make it my karma. So I choose to react in a way that is going to make my peace tranquility. More important than my personal feelings, and thoughts about someone else's Miss information, or miss judgments. With that being said, the only way up is to keep walking forward. If I'm too busy looking behind me, and too busy looking too far ahead of me. I won't be able to pay attention to what I'm doing in the present moment. I can miss a step, and I can fall off the ladder. If I pay attention to right now, I have the power to change the past and the future. Because they all happen at this moment right now.
Tricea Dawkins 18:00
Hello, my name is Tricia Dawkins. I am currently 41 years old. I live now in Atlanta, Georgia. But I was born in Jamaica, West Indies. And I grew up most of my in New York City. I left New York City around age 18 to join the Marine Corps. So I was a marine for five years. After I completed the Marine Corps, I went to school, and I got a degree in social work. So I have a master's degree in social work. Once I completed my degree in social work, I kind of ended up working for most of the Board of Health, I work to that clean category of health. And now I work at Fulton County Board of Health. So the current pandemic. I'm deeply deeply involved in the current pandemic. My meditation journey or I should say my Buddhist Dharma journey started this year, January 1, I said to my wife, that I've always been interested in studying Buddhism, but I had no idea what Buddhism was about. So I decided that I was going to find out. I was ready I was gung ho. I started reading books started looking online listening to Dharma talks, and that was getting ready to start visiting different temples. As I am new to Buddhism, I really didn't know what school of practice to go into, I guess, or to decide what what school practice was right for me. So my goal was to visit many different temples and see what fit how I felt with Whatever practice seemed to fit my personality. You know, when I, when I started, I had, I have no idea what I'm doing. So I just wanted to go out there and kind of figure it out. But then the pandemic hidden, everything shut down. So I have no way of going to any temples and actually visiting and asking questions, and finding out where I actually fit in Dharma or in
Bhante Panna 20:33
Buddhism.
Tricea Dawkins 20:34
For me, Buddhism was a very far away. Religion, some people call a religion, some people call it a practice, it was definitely something I didn't know anything about, I think the only exposure a lot of people, especially people of color, get about Buddhism is from Tina Turner, what's love got to do with it. And that was about the extent of my knowledge about Buddhism. And I wanted to know a little bit more about it. I didn't know anything else
Bhante Panna 21:09
about it at the time.
Tricea Dawkins 21:11
But it's been nine months since I have been practicing, which is not a lot of time at all. And I've noticed, once I started doing meditation, how much meditation has changed my life. I've known about meditation for a really, really long time, because meditation is connected to so many things outside of Buddhist practice, like yoga practice, and just meditation, itself, not being connected to anything like yoga or Buddhism. But I knew about yoga practice for a really long time. I never actually thought meditation was
Bhante Panna 22:03
just
Tricea Dawkins 22:04
a complete crock. I thought it was like a new age kind of thing that people do. It didn't really have any benefits. You know, it was more like people that are vegans and people that read New Age books, that they are the ones that meditate, and I've tried meditation before over the years and never was successful at it, I would just sit and either fall asleep or forget that I'm even meditating because my mind was racing so much. But I decided when I wanted to practice Buddhism that I was going to give this another try in really intend to be successful at meditation. So my first meditation practice was about three minutes because I downloaded an app called headspace, which many friends have told me about before. And it decided, Okay, I'll download headspace. And I'll try. So I did it. I did two, three minutes. And I was like, oh, that wasn't too bad. So I kept trying it throughout the months. And as I tried it, I realize how common it was to my brain, and how less stress I became. So the more I practice, the more I felt like meditation actually does work. As the pandemic continued to rage in the United States, and is involved as I am, in the pandemic, with my job, and I guess I should explain a little bit about what I do at the Board of Health. Well, I am a social worker, and I work at the TV department, at the Board of Health, but because of the pandemic, a lot of our jobs that we are tasked to do in the office was suspended because we weren't seeing that many clients. So because we work in public health, we had to address what was going on the current climate, a lot of us was sent out into the field, to do testing to do registration for people that are testing to monitor people that are being tested. So a lot of the times when you saw people on the news that were dressed into hazmat suits, doing the testing, the driver testing, the walk of testing, that was myself or my co workers, so I was out there in the thick of it, doing testing and then coming back home to my family. So that was an extremely stressful time not only for myself, for the country, and for my family. But even though the times when very stressful, and I was doing a very high risk job, I continued to focus on my meditation on my practice, and try to get as much Dhamma talks or much information about the Dharma as I could. I became very involved in YouTube and YouTube videos. And I found a sham, Brom, and I found thickener, Han, those are the two that I actually watched and listened to the most. I was very lost when it came to Dharma, because I wanted to find a space where people of color also fit in. And it was very, very difficult to find that space. Because there are so very few people out there, at least in my experience, or in my search, that I found that were African American people that were talking about Dharma Dharma practice, I did notice that the people that were talking about Dharma or Dharma practice, their focus was very focused on slavery and trauma, which is very, very important. But there was also no base, no baseline where I can just get a foot in exactly how to practice the Dharma, before I got into trauma, the trauma of being black in America, which leads me to George Floyd. Of course, that was a huge thing that happened during the pandemic. And as a person that was brought up Christian. It was the first time I realized practicing the Dharma, I didn't have a deity to go and pray to or to talk to, I only had myself, so I meditated. But I also found videos of other individuals. Not quite sure what to do, that we're practicing the Dhamma, about the issues that were going on in America, what do you do, when you don't have someone or a deity, to talk to or to cry out to or to kneel before to help you process? What is going on in the country. Meditation became a huge part of my life during that period, because I wasn't sure how to internalize what was happening in the US. As a black person in the US, the feelings I was having a rage and of anger, and of wanting to destroy something, what do I do with all that? If I don't have a deity to pray to? And the answer was to meditate and to encourage others, to meditate and to calm your mind, and to calm those feelings of rage and hate and anger, that were boiling up that one fire inside. And it helped. I suggested meditation to a lot of my friends that were angry, and didn't know what to do with all of that anger. And that was such a difficult times it's such a difficult thing to process to watch a man die on camera, and to see someone take that life away with no remorse and no guilt. What do you do with that? Growing up question, you supposed to kneel and pray and say God helped me through this. But since practicing the Dharma didn't happen anymore, so my meditation was my salvation. I went and I meditated. And I dealt not only with joy, Floyd's death, but also the pandemic, the two of those combined, made for a heavy, heavy load for anyone, for anyone that was living in the US or anyone that was living in the world at the time, because when George Floyd died, the world reacted, not just the United States, the world reacted to his death. So I will say that meditation has been a huge blessing to my life. And it has changed me in a big way. Anytime I'm fearing feeling angry, or I'm feeling distressed in some way, I'll go and I meditate before any medical appointment or visit, I go, and I meditate, meditate is so important to me that I tried my very best to squeeze in as much time as I can to get a meditation session done. I do have a two year old that keeps me extremely busy. But I try to get my meditation, I wake up, sometimes I wake up at 530 in the morning, just to get my meditation, I still have the problem. Well, I guess it's not a problem. But that's the word I'm going to use, I still have the problem of trying to understand the Dharma, from an African American perspective, especially since Buddhism is not practiced. In many African American communities. When I tell people, I'm practicing the Dharma, or I tell people, I'm trying to be a Buddhist, or attempting to be a Buddhist, especially if they're African American, or a person of color, their eyebrows raise and the first thing they say to me is, Oh, so you're going to worship Buddha. And I tell them, no, I'm not going to worship Buddha. Buddha was a man. And he didn't ask to be worshipped, but I am trying to better myself. And the path that the Buddha has set forth, is a path that only one person at a time can travel. It's a very introspective path. And I've learned a lot about myself from following that path. And through meditation, I've learned how my brain can be very scrambled and very, all over the place. And it'll bring up so many different things that have happened to me in the past, that I assume I haven't dealt with. But meditation has given me a way to deal with those things. In my own time, without getting angry, without feeling that I need to pray to a deity to take it away. Because all I have is me to help me be better. I recently notice that I want to deepen my practice. And because of all of COVID 19, I haven't had the opportunity to do so. So I'm hoping that when everything begins to open back up, I'll get the opportunity to visit different temples, and different visit different schools of Buddhism to actually find out which one I would like to deepen that practice with. Thank you all for listening to me. Again, my name is Tracy Dawkins. Thank you. Before I go, I like to take the opportunity to thank Bunty panna encouraged me to do this podcast and to talk about my experience with the Dharma. And my meditation practice is also so kindly taking time out of his very busy schedule to answer a multitude of questions that I've had, since I feel like I didn't have anyone to talk to. He's been so kind as to lend me his ear and his hospitals.
Esly Caldwell 34:20
Hello, my name is Leslie Caldwell. I am an acupuncturist by profession. I live in and grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio. I traveled extensively in Southeast Asia. A few trips over the last 20 plus years, spent a lot of time in India. parts of India also had the opportunity to travel to Limor spent a month there and
35:00
Initially,
Esly Caldwell 35:03
in a Buddhist studies, undergraduate program through Antioch university, I was exposed to Buddhism, I gravitated towards the Tera vaada. Tradition, in particular, Vipassana was very much into the Glencoe system pasilla, for for several years, did a lot of retreats, I still greatly appreciate the retreat experience. That said, Now I have a family and small children. So retreating for any length of time is a little more difficult. In the last few years, in terms of my Buddhist practice, I have been more drawn to and a part of the Tibetan Buddhist system. Study with a few different teachers and that lineage, I feel the strongest connection with the name of tradition. And at the same time, I am a Vedic priest, Hindu priest, and so also do poojas and meditative practices from that tradition. That may seem contradictory. Perhaps, there is not a contradiction in my mind, that when we practice Dhamma, we practice Dhamma, we are practicing the same thing and its essence. That's a topic that is perhaps for another discussion, just sort of laying out the background from which I approach the Dharma, in the background for which I was sharing my experiences on this topic today. In general, will not think about how meditation and Buddhist practice has affected my life. I will say with out hesitation that it has saved my life, that it has helped me to get through some of the challenges that I've experienced in my life. It continues to be a source of support for getting through things that come up, continues to be a source of refuge and solace, and an anchor and something that I can return to, to process and deal with the tremendous upheaval and transformation that is happening in the world around us. The topic today of race, and Donna is a topic that I have thought a great deal about. Personally, I would call it the topic, racism and dominance or white supremacy and dumb, because the issue is not difference. racial difference, which, frankly, is merely a social construction. That has persisted. And so race, racial differences, not the issue. White supremacist racism is issue. What we are seeing in the world right now, and I've said this back in March, so the outset of the COVID pandemic, here in the United States, is that we are experiencing tremendous upheaval and change that is happening so quickly in the world. And there are significant commerce bubbling up to the surface of individual and group collective consciousness around the planet. And so we have a tremendous opportunity right now, to heal some very old and very painful columns. We have an opportunity to begin this deep, deep clearing, and that's what's happening around us in the world.
Bhante Panna 39:40
The
Esly Caldwell 39:43
changes that are happening
Bhante Panna 39:47
or not
Esly Caldwell 39:50
always easy. They're not always pleasant and my perspective they are necessary.
Bhante Panna 40:02
So
Esly Caldwell 40:05
when we look at the situation and speak from my perspective as an American primarily looking at what's happening in the United States,
40:16
in the wake of the
Esly Caldwell 40:20
execution, the murder of George Floyd, we've had, arguably the largest protest movement in US history. Millions of people participated in some form of mass demonstrations, for equality, for justice, for freedom for all Americans.
40:48
And
Esly Caldwell 40:50
this is remarkable. These protests have spread around the world and inspire other people around the world. I've heard of Dallas, the, that's the term for folks who were formerly known as untouchables in India, they have begun using some of the same languaging for their movement for equality, which is frankly, very similar to the experience of black folks here in United States, probably lots of Muslims in India have been using images and the essence of the American protest to to fight for their, their struggles. So it's been a very inspirational movement. In terms of my personal practice, one of the things that I really try to focus on right now is metta Bhavana, and loving kindness and forgiveness. The emotion and and pain that people are feeling when when they saw the shock that people felt when they saw what happened to George Ford, and for many African Americans, we have had negative experiences with police. And if you have not, you know, someone who has people who did nothing wrong, and yet they were treated differently by police. This is a very, very common problem. So when it comes to metta, practicing loving kindness, first and foremost for me is is is praying and sending that loving kindness out to bless and help people that are suffering. Initially my method, Davina was going out to people that look like me and experience the same pain, the same shock when they saw what was happening to George floor what happened to George Foreman, he watched the video even just heard about it. Because for many African Americans in this country, many black folks the I can speak for myself and what I've heard from other people, I literally had flashbacks, like racism, PTSD, were things that happened to me 2030 years ago, flashed up into my mind into my consciousness, as if they just happen, things happen to me when I was a child. So the first incidents of racism that I experienced, and these things came up into my consciousness of that that period. And so that dragon is a necessary part though some scars have to be dredged up, and come up to the surface. And that's, that's a part of healing, that is uncomfortable. And it is necessary to feel things again, in order to, to heal them. That's my perspective. Sometimes you can, through the light of awareness, liberate, possibly some scars that aren't being felt that said, when they come up to the conscious mind, that's when we can feel perceive, observe, and allow them to arise and pass away. So an important practice for me, has been metta Bhavana, for people that are suffering and people that are going through pain, as a acupuncturist as a healer and patients of many different backgrounds. Expressing shock to me, and one of the things that was really heartbreaking was some of my patients who were black women, crying Thinking about their children, their sons, and being scared for what could happen to their sons. That pain that they felt sitting with them and
Bhante Panna 45:12
hearing them,
Esly Caldwell 45:15
say, metta Bhavana, is so important to help to heal, the pain, the suffering that they feel. Now, at another level, another level, it is important that we also send metta to those people that are full of hate. And so when I think about this young man in Wisconsin, that shot and killed and injured people that protest last week in in Wisconsin, Kenosha, Wisconsin, when I think about him, and when I think about the 1000s of other people out there that agree with what he did that think that him shooting those protesters was justified and that he was the victim, then I have also begun more and more to pray for us and metta to those people as well. Because there are people out there who are hurting. The only way you can get to a point where you want to be able to shoot somebody else's, so you to be hurting deeply, somewhere yourself. And so these people also need to be healed. And ultimately, this is helping me to understand at a more deep and profound level that the notion of who is a victim, or who is a perpetrator, who is the rescuer, and that whole sort of triad of relational dynamics. At the highest level, there are no victims or perpetrators or rescuers. They're all just people that are in meshed in this in this karmic state of ignorance, and ego. And so we are all in this together. We are all connected. We are ultimately all one.
Bhante Panna 47:17
So
Esly Caldwell 47:20
when I heard what happened in Wisconsin, when those protesters were shot, and I saw the ABCs of this, the 17 year old kid, then I was overcome with with compassion for him. And so I've been making a focus, to also bless these folks, folks that think like him, folks that look at the world in the same way. Because they also need healing. We all need healing. One of the things that has tested me, and concern me is seeing some of the perspectives, the commentary of folks in the Buddhist or larger sort of spiritual community, who have a very sort of callous and indifferent and dismissive attitude towards people that are protesting for Black Lives Matter. And that that movement for justice, for human rights, it's about human rights, and that reality is lost on many people. So I'm not sure how necessarily to reach them. That said, it is concerning that that people who otherwise speak
Bhante Panna 48:43
about
Esly Caldwell 48:45
non violence and peace and love and forgiveness and, and higher consciousness and Damo
48:53
are unable to
Esly Caldwell 48:56
listen to and really, truly hear the experiences the suffering of others and unable to take that in and understand that that pain is real. The issues that people are protesting about are real.
49:21
So that is
Esly Caldwell 49:24
one of the more difficult things,
49:26
many people that
Esly Caldwell 49:27
that I knew and felt close to and different contexts, were suddenly people that seem to deny the reality and experiences or find some justification for the harshness of police behavior.
49:47
These are
Esly Caldwell 49:49
such a tremendously difficult times that we live in and the teachings of the Buddha on so many things are so helpful and so needed right now.
AB Johanne 50:06
I tap in peace. I am a traveler. I was born in 80 and given the name AB, Joanne, by my parents as a child, I love playing hopscotch with my friends. I love going to get water, washing clothes in the weaver and I also enjoy eating Ahmet foot. Every part of Asian culture was rooted in me, especially the Christian concept. I went to a non Catholic school, and I had to behave a certain way. I used to go to church every Sunday with the nuns and my classmate. The Catholic religion was not only a part of school, it was part of my daily life at home. Did you know that more than 80% of the population in at believes in one or another religion. immigrating in Canada at a young age was instill an awakening process. I remember lending in late autumn, a few days after I saw the first no fall. It was magical. Just like in the movies I used to watch back in AD. I have interacted with people that look the same as me, but have a different culture than mine. That was one of the big cultural shocks. Also the language, the climate, the social life, everything was so different. I believe my uncle had a freakin knowledge. Because he bought my sister and I our first black Barbie. We were the happiest kids ever. We used to play with them, we used to sell clothing for them. We used to identify with their skin color and their hair texture. As I kept growing, attending high school become a hard thing to follow every day. I did not have any difficulty waking up in the morning to go to school. However, sitting still in class, listening to the teachers speaking, I was having trouble with that. So I've skipped a few classes. And I used to participate in other activities like dancing, playing sports, mostly activities that allowed my body to move. Although that part of my journey was hard. I used to love reading books and writing a lot. Unfortunately, as a young woman, having a model that works two shifts almost every day to support everyone did not help either. And this is when my experience with the so called depression began. Now that I have overstand better, I was just searching for that something that was calling me. A bought me deeper within myself to see my thoughts and my reactions. years went by, I have given birth to my kids, and becoming a nurse helped me take care of our needs. I still could not figure it out. More expectations arose far away from nature. I felt angry inside superficially, Trump in my mind, deep down again, something was calling. I could not see. Or I could realize it yet. especially seeing the injustice against the black race, and the injustice all over the world. Let's talk about the Brianna Taylor case correctly on the news. Here's a brief introduction for those who don't know about the story. Allegedly what have happened is that a black couple was sleeping in their bed and was attacked by a squad of policemen doing a supposedly drug investigation. We're living in a world where information is transmitted faster than before. So how come no communication was initiated since the suspect was already in custody. There still proceed to work inside somebody else's house without verifying if this was the right address to the specific suspect. And remember, the suspect was already in custody? And what about not wearing dash cameras, or announcing themselves before breaking the door? No, they tried to blame it on the boyfriend, who is a permit gun owner who used a defense to protect his girlfriend and himself. Well, the girlfriend got shot and die in their home. I don't know. But something is very confusing about that story. And just like the other stories, is that type of injustice that made me question even more the survival of the black ways, survival of humanity. I mean, why trust the system that has embedded and when washed the mass for the sake of their own ideal world. And speaking about trust, just like in any relationship, if there is none, the relationship will be off balance. And sometimes, we try to extend that trust that we don't even have for ourselves, from out of fear of being alone, or out of fear of not being compassionate enough. I embrace loneliness. Whether it's pleasant, unpleasant or neutral, I embrace it all. Don't get me wrong. being compassionate doesn't mean that you should not give the benefit of doubt to someone or a situation that was numerously unwary to you. Being a compassionate person deserves to feel great. No one is right, and no one is wrong. Because we perceive to our senses, and mostly from what we've been programmed. Most of the time, we're not even aware of the way we treat ourselves and each other. The more I experience life, the more the definition of the word responsibility changes. The word itself has two words in it. It has the word response, and the word able, when you overstand it that way. It simply means Are you able enough to response by appreciating the impermanent nature of all experiences? And how can you become a better contributor by respecting the principle of life, the moment I realized I am a choice, I become less afraid, and I take more risk toward my goals. There's a great book called Living Dangerously by Osho. It's an inspiring book that talks about how we should live life by not being afraid and by taking more risk, discovering our life purpose, and also to understand the concept of dying. From there, I was able to tap into my uniqueness and be more aware of my mind, body and soul and to everything else that is gravitating around me. My first contact with meditation goes way back in 2007. One day I entered a shopping store, and they were selling a beautiful painting of a black woman sitting in a lotus position, meditating with her head down. I was so captivated by the painting, I decided to pursue it. And since then, it's on the wall of my bedroom. I had never meditated before nor I was interested by the subject until 2015 when a friend introduced me to free pass Anna. My first world Dharma Vipassana experience was at the Quebec Vipassana meditation center in Canada. I spent 10 days in complete silence, and no eye contact with the other student. Surprisingly, I've enjoyed all the time spent there. I enjoyed the meditation sessions, the healthy food, the walking in the nature. And of course, all days were not the same. There were days, I cried. There were days I left. And there were some days I was in total confusions. Because the more I tapped into the core of my being, the more I had so much more to learn. The passion and meditation techniques taught me how to scan and observe the body sensations by being aware and accepting each moment with an economist mind. Also, learning more But my African culture and heritage helped me cultivate that emotional equilibrium by creating happiness in my life, and deal with situations for their purpose. As a vehicle, I know now all things are made with natural opposites. And by considering and observing the harmonious relationship between them, you yourself can discover the truth as you go along your spiritual journey. And that is why I become a meditator. And a seeker of enlightenment do, and may peace be with all of us.
Keven Porter 1:00:47
Hello, my name is Kevin Porter. And I'm a black American from Newark, New Jersey. I was born and raised in New York, I'm 60 years old now. And my parents, and I still live in the same house, we've been in this house or my family been in this house for over 60 years, definitely. And we've seen the community change a lot over this period of time. I've been meditating for the last 20 years, actually, for over 20 years, maybe about 23 years, I've been meditating. I practice Vipassana, as taught by a single anchor, my spiritual practice, me and my wife, we meditate an hour in the morning, an hour in the evening. So so we do hold our practice. And it is very important to us to practice. My practice has changed my life. In many ways. The most important way is being a quantumness. What is going on in my life, and around me, even in other people's lives, it makes me understand that I don't have to do so much running around. Because I am self employed. So I don't have to do so much running around. I think most of the greatest change that I see in my life comes from sitting on the cushion, my meditation cushion. And when I say an hour in the morning, an hour in the evening, that's my minimum. Sometimes it can be more, you know, but usually never less. And that's by spiritual practice. And with current events, I look at him through my practice, because that's the purpose of your practice. So when I see situations like George Floyd, and civil unrest, and the violence on TV, perpetrated on both sides against each other, I do see the Dharma. I see karma. Definitely. On both sides. Okay, cuz that's definitely there. And it's there and what's going on in California now with these historic wildfires in, in the situation with climate change, I O view, it is calm, you know, we cause this. And so we're subject to it. And, for me, it creates less suffering. I always give the analogy of karma to my friend says, You know what, when you're hammering something in or you're doing something with a hammer and a hammer slips and you hit your thumb, you might smile at you say, ouch, shake your hand, you might smile and kind of like laugh at it, you know, it's not so bad. But when you don't know karma, it's like somebody came out of the blue, grab the hammer, and hit you in the hand with it. It hurts a lot more than you don't smile, you develop anger towards this person that came up and took the hammer and hit your hand. So that's my view of people that don't understand karma. Somebody out of the blue is coming did something to you. And now you're really upset at some somebody else or not at yourself. So there's no change that comes about this. experience. But if you understand it, you're holding the hammer that hit your hand, then it will create some kind of change, you may say, Well, maybe I shouldn't swing the hammer so quickly, or hold the hammer so far away, then swing it, you know, it may create some kind of change in your life. And that's what I see in my life. But understanding that I create my environment. And as to what's going on with, I say unjustice. And I'm not just talking about racial injustice, because if it wasn't for economic injustice, it be no need for racial injustice. Because the powers that be that control the money, they need to distract people, and pit people against each other. So they're kind of stuck in this quagmire of fighting with each other.
1:06:10
Wow,
Keven Porter 1:06:11
the wealthy people in the world, the 1% sort of much make off with the money. You're not seeing what's really going on. You know, again, capitalism causes racism or racism is a byproduct of capitalists. You know, it's a, it's their smokescreen. He's doing it to you, you're doing it to him. And then people fight, you know. So that's how I view it. And, ultimately, karma is no black and is no white. That's the big delusion. There are a bunch of beings. And that's where we, as practitioners of the Dharma, who practice the Dharma, need to be more most careful, because the slave that is beaten by the slave owner? Yes, what kind of karma is the slave owner, generating by doing this by holding somebody in bondage. But the most hardest part, the hardest part, that slave has to be careful not to generate so much anger, because he can find himself in a position where he's actually the slave owner, and beating somebody else. Because anger generates anger. So we kind of want to, when people come at us with anger, cooled it off, if it means going into our breath, and meditating, or saying a kind word, or not saying nothing, sometimes not saying anything, is the greatest thing a person can do. And some moments, just nothing quiet. You know. And that will keep you from generating any negativity or help you to not generate any negativity, and just give metta loving kindness to those who abuse you caused. ultimate reason for them abusing you, is they're suffering. They're in pain. They're lashing out. So if we're practicing, we should understand this. And we should give Mehta and I don't want to get people confused. That doesn't mean that we sit back and watch things go on, and don't get involved. When we see somebody getting abuse, we stop then we jump in, and we separate with when we see injustice, we should get out there, and we should protest against it. We should do what we can do in a peaceful way to change the things that we see in our world to make them better. And that is our practice. And that's a hard one. How do I get involved without getting too emotional, getting physical or getting violent or developing anger for those who may be protesting against, you know, they and that is the challenge. But that is our practice. So that's why we practice. So, again, when I look at this, I kind of brought in a spectrum. And understanding that this is earth. And it's like this for a reason, we coordinated into this loca and to this plane of existence, because it is what it is, this is where our karma has put us. And so, so much change can happen within this realm of let's say, earth, that, you know, it to say it is what it is. But again, we're not past them, just let things happening. Now we protest against things, but don't get too involved with causes you to hurt yourself with anger with hatred, or jealousy, or any of these negative traits, maintaining your practice, and with the, to understanding that this place is what it is. That's what makes it Earth. That is what makes it the world. And I will leave on that note, thank you.
Host 1:11:27
I'll be honest, not only is asking for donations, my least favorite thing in the world, I find it pretty uncomfortable as well. Let's face it after prioritizing my own meditation practice, my main passion is learning about these inspiring Burma Dhamma tales and finding a way to share them with a wider audience so that many more can appreciate them. My passion is not at all the unavoidable administrative stuff, and certainly not the fundraising part of it. But unfortunately, we do have a minimum basic cost to keep our engine humming. So it's necessary for me to take a moment for that least favorite and uncomfortable thing, and ask sincerely for your generosity in supporting our mission. If you found value in today's show, and think that other meditators might as well, we ask that you take a moment to consider supporting our work. Thank you for taking the time to hear our spiel. And with that, it's off to work on the next episode. 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