At a vipassana center in Yangon, role models and butterflies
Like many people, Luissa Burton was deeply impacted by her first vipassana course. But unlike many practitioners, she had the privilege of attending her first retreat in Myanmar, a country with deep roots in the practice. Forces beyond her control brought her here, and she entered the course with trepidation, having never done anything like that before. She attended the course several years ago, in what was a different reality, before the pandemic and before the coup, back when opportunities like these were available for foreign meditators. In this excerpt, she describes how the course impacted her life, as well as one elder Burmese yogi who became her inspiration. Take a listen to the full interview with her to hear more.
“I tried to consciously integrate it into my everyday life. I do meditate, and have a meditation practice now.”
Host: In the end, you realized that the meditation was worth the effort. I appreciated reading your posts describing the vipassana course. There was one I really liked, where you're describing being mentally confused and all that physical pain as you referenced being unsure how to even go on. And who becomes your inspiration, in your words, it's an 85 year old woman. ‘She is extremely fragile, and the tiniest lady I've ever seen, sunken cheeks and not an ounce of fat, the height of a seven year old child, her skin and bones weathered by old age, but her strength, her strength was of another world! I have not seen her move once in all these six days.’ So reading this, I'm thinking of how your challenging skin conditions inspired you to transform this anxiety into a beacon of confidence. And here you are sweating it out on a meditation course. And the catalyst for transformation comes in the form of an old Burmese woman inspiring this newfound confidence in you. So besides her steadfast sitting, did anything else stand out about that tiny woman that was in front of you? How did you turn her example into this personal motivation to continue?
Luissa Burton: Hmm, yeah, she was just beautiful. She just radiated this, I can't, I don't even know if I can put it into words. Just the energy just by looking at her. Just compelled me to want to do better.
Host: That's beautiful.
Luissa Burton: That's the only way I could describe it. I was so moved by her. You know, she didn't have to be there. There's a lot of older people who just want to relax at home. But she went, and she dedicated to the meditation practice. And that means that she's dedicated to her own self-love. And it was just amazing!
Afterwards when we were allowed to speak, I had a bracelet that I was wearing. And I just offered it to her. I don't know if she even understood me. But I just said, ‘Thank you so much for just being you,’ and I just gave him my bracelet. I just thought she was so amazing.
Host: One of the reasons we do this podcast is to explore these stories where we really think that there is something special about the experience of meditating and practicing in Myanmar, and how the Myanmar traditions and people have something to offer on a spiritual path. And so here's an example where you want to be at the English vipassana center, but you can’t, so you come to Burma. Then, even sitting 10 days of silence where you're not talking to anyone, just physically being in that place and encountering someone you can't talk to let alone even look at, and she is able to offer a source of inspiration. Perhaps that would be harder to find that in England. But here in Myanmar, you do find a crop of people with their dedication, their sacrifice, their ethical living, their spiritual devotion, who are a living example of inspiration into the practice that we as Westerners are trying to assimilate and be on the path of.
Luissa Burton: For me, she was the epitome of the role model. Because my whole thing about being a role model is it doesn't matter who you are! You don't have to have been a model, but she was just an example. She set an example to me and also to other people in the room. And it was very, very inspiring.
Host: Since taking that vipassana course at Dhamma Joti, how has that further impacted your spiritual journey in the days and months since the course has finished?
Luissa Burton: When I was at the center, we would have the breaks in the garden, and I would always see butterflies. And in the time leading up to that as well, I would see butterflies everywhere. It was almost like the butterflies I was seeing now, were similar to the ones that I was seeing before, even though I've never been to Myanmar. I just remember feeling that that was the beginning of where I was really going to start blooming, just like this butterfly! When I came out, that was definitely where I felt this big transformation of becoming in alignment more with the person that I wanted to be. And so I do feel that that was a very transformational period for me, and I've taken the lessons that I've learned from that.
I tried to consciously integrate it into my everyday life. I do meditate, and have a meditation practice now. Prior, I didn't. And now I do.
I wake up in the morning, and I meditate. That's the first thing I do. Just that transformation alone is great, because I learned the lesson of consistency and also patience, and letting go of perfection and just practice, just keep practicing and practicing. And I've learned to love it now.
Host: What do you love about it?
Luissa Burton: Before I had a very difficult time being present. Anxiety and depression. Anxiety is in the future, and depression is in the past. So it is all about difficulty staying present. I definitely feel that when I'm with people, I'm able to be more present, so it's brought that to me in conversations. I don't hurry and rush so much to respond. I listen more intently with an actual intent to listen rather than to just then go and share something that I want to say. It's just brought lots of positive things. I feel more calm. I don't know if you think of astrology, but I'm an Aries. That's a fire sign. So I definitely feel a lot more calm! And yeah, the health benefits have definitely helped with my skin conditions as well.