Mindfulness in a Strip Club

“I just always felt most comfortable in retreat settings and in monastic settings to some degree, and in strip club. Those are the two places that I feel completely comfortable and myself. These are both expressions of parts of myself that fit very comfortably in who I am, and don't have to be at odds with one another. And they kind of balance each other out.”

Natalie Ducastelle's journey is a compelling exploration of duality, integrating her work as a stripper and sex worker with a profound devotion to the Buddha’s teachings. Her story traces back to a turbulent childhood marked by a messy parental divorce, which shaped her formative years with emotional upheaval and a yearning for refuge. Natalie turned to yoga and Eastern practices as a teenager, yet simultaneously experimented with drugs and alcohol, leading to years of addiction. It wasn’t until she addressed her struggles with alcoholism that she could engage deeply with meditation practices. Over a decade of sobriety, Natalie maintained her work in the strip club, finding ways to align her profession with her ethical values. Through mindful observation, she sought to uphold principles like sīla (moral conduct), even in an environment not traditionally associated with spiritual practice.

In 2019, Natalie’s spiritual quest led her to Myanmar, where she spent time living in the nunneries of Sagaing Hills, which she described as a “Disneyland of monasteries.” The generosity and nurturing spirit of the monastic community deeply inspired her, leaving a lasting impression that has shaped her understanding of the Dharma. Natalie reflects on the stark contrast between Western individualism and the communal, Dharma-centered upbringing she observed in the children at these nunneries. The military coup and subsequent violence in Myanmar have been devastating for her, particularly knowing the harm inflicted on the nuns she came to cherish. Yet, Natalie continues to hold onto the lessons of compassion, gentleness, and resilience imparted during her time in the Golden Land, carrying them forward in her ongoing spiritual journey.

Natalie's above quote is a powerful affirmation of self-acceptance and the profound reconciliation of seemingly contradictory identities. By candidly declaring her comfort in both the monastic retreat and the strip club, she shatters societal notions of what constitutes an "appropriate" setting for authenticity. Her statement challenges deeply ingrained judgments, offering a vision of wholeness that integrates spirituality and sensuality, discipline and liberation, sacredness and humanity. Natalie's insight invites us to question the rigid binaries that often confine our understanding of identity and purpose.

This balance she describes is not a contradiction—it is a testament to the complexity of the human experience. It speaks to the universality of seeking refuge, whether in a temple or a nightclub, and the shared yearning for authenticity in vastly different contexts. Natalie’s ability to see these spaces as complementary rather than oppositional reveals a profound truth: that harmony arises not from choosing one part of ourselves over another, but from embracing the totality of who we are. Her journey embodies courage, challenging us to reconsider what it means to live authentically, while honoring all facets of our being without shame or conflict.

Listen to her full episode by subscribing to Insight Myanmar wherever you get your podcasts.