Re-parenting a Former Soldier
Soeya Min certainly found himself in an interesting situation. As a trained therapist, he came to have sessions with individuals coming from an organization that has long terrorized and brutalized his people. In sitting down and hearing the lifestories and troubles of former soldiers in the Tatmadaw, Soeya Min had to find a way to open his mind (and heart) to their experience, and make space for a person he had once considered the enemy. How did he manage to do that? And what did he learn? The following excerpt shares some of his insights, but listen to the full interview to learn more.
“It is never-ending violence and fears, and backstabbing, all that kind of bad stuff, you know?”
Soeya Min: “What I experienced was someone who had defected from the Tatmadaw to our side. I can guess what they are going through. But talking to someone from what you call the enemy, it's more interesting, more challenging for a counselor. Because I can’t hold any judgment on him. I have to be very open when going into sessions.”
Host: So, what did you learn from talking to him?
Soeya Min: “I learned from that client about how their institution works. That institution is very sad inside, very sad. It is me is very sad, because they are built upon fear; they are built upon fear and exploiting your insecurity. It’s like, they are purposely making a struggle or violence inside their own institution! Violence, fears, insecurities, that kind of institution. They are not based on trust. They are not based on love; they are not based on compassion or anything, just based on violence, fears, and insecurity all around. So, yes; it's very sad.”
Host: So, how hard was it for you as a mental health professional to look at this? So, you're dealing with a client who had grown up and been formed, had been shaped emotionally, mentally, psychologically, from these intentionally destructive forces. And you're trying to, first of all, understand them and then try to reverse the process and bring him out of that destructive mindset that he's been led to be in. As a professional, how did you go about trying to firstly understand the dynamics he was operating in and then try to bring them out into some kind of daylight, try to reverse the processes and effects of these mental conditions he'd been taught to live under?
Soeya Min: “First, as a counselor, you have to be very open and you have to give him space. And try to show that sometimes it's okay to try to show that there are people who understand him or her, not on his side as in ideology, but emotionally, ‘I support you.’ That kind of stuff. You have to understand and hold him in a place where he is not judged. And then from that place you try to give him examples of how to how to treat people with compassion, because you know, since joining the military training school, their life is just, like I said before, it is never-ending violence and fears, and backstabbing, all that kind of bad stuff, you know? So, you just have to show him, there's some support out there. Because he or she doesn't have an experience of those emotions or those feelings in a very long time. So, you have to do what we call is ‘re-parenting’ him, counseling, that's the way I took with him.”
Host: Yeah, that's great to hear. That's also quite challenging just to hear about the pain and the trauma that someone has been intentionally put under. And it also gives insight into what we're finding overall in the country, how they're being trained, and then how they're responding.