Reflecting on Dukkha as a Burmese Political Prisoner
Swe Win is one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met, and I was honored that he agreed to take time out of his busy schedule to sit for an interview. There is just so much in this interview that stands out on its own, and I can’t emphasize enough to listen to it in full! In the excerpt below, Swe Win describes the depths of suffering he endured in Myingyan Prison, and how this ultimately led to his understanding of the First Noble Truth of Suffering.
“You are suffering, not because you are being beaten, not because you are not having good food, but because you are cut off of your usual stimuli.”
“The first two years were very, very horrible, actually, very horrible. At Myingyan prison, where I was transferred in 1999, I was beaten by a group of criminals under the direct supervision of the prison officers. Actually, I was beaten like a dog. I was dragged to an open field and beaten.
So I came into contact with the first serious dukkha... dukkha....dukkha....dukkha.
Oh, I am just 20, and I am going to serve 21 years! How can I survive? So, suicidal thoughts came to me. It is not because I was fed up with everything. I just thought, I should not suffer! You know, for all these coming years like this, at least mentally I could get out… if I commit suicide. But I was not that foolish enough to commit such an act. I never thought it would be a right decision, actually.
So yeah, I was starving in those days, so much so that I felt like biting my own thigh! '‘Oh, my thigh is here, actually. Why do I keep it?’ You know, just the human instinct of craving something when you were deprived of everything, you know?
And then there was a very big, powerful experience and I started undergoing the process of soul-searching... 'You are just confined to a cell, but why are you suffering? You just keep quiet.' I was reminded, and then yes, what is happening? Now, I have proper food. My family came to give me some food. Now I have food. Yes, a few weeks ago, I was dead. Now I have a some food. I can survive now, at least for a week. You know, I was not going starve actually. So why do you keep grumbling and crying?
I realized not because I was being beaten. Not because I was not having enough food, but because I was cut off access to the usual stimuli I was so familiar with. Before I got thrown into jail, I was very much attached to my radio, to all these literature books, I was so much attached. So, these are only two types of stimulus that I was I was dependent upon. There was no internet back at that time. So, all these stimuli, you know. I started telling myself, 'You are suffering, not because you are being beaten, not because you are not having good food, but because you are cut off of your usual stimuli.’
So, I was shocked! What is the type of freedom I want? The freedom I want exists outside. So that is not a real freedom! Because something outside, something external, can be taken from you at any point, for any reason, at any point of your life! That dependence, that type of dependence, the type of attachment, is so fragile. And I realized I was looking not just for the democracy, not just for the liberty, I have to find for the type of freedom, by which I mean, you will no longer depend on anything outside of your mind and body, your body and mind. So, this is the first thought which came to be after a year.