Episode #331: Bridge to Nowhere
“My friend told me it is like the crumbling of the world, because everywhere, everywhere is destruction.”
Sayalay, a Burmese Buddhist nun now residing abroad who has chosen not to give her full Pāḷi name for safety concerns, joins the podcast to discuss the humanitarian crisis unfolding in the aftermath of the devastating earthquake the struck central Myanmar. Few places were hit as hard or as tragically as the Sagaing Hills, a region deeply revered for its spiritual significance. Through her voice and that of her friends and contacts, we gain a sobering view of the destruction, the trauma, the resilience, and the urgent needs of a suffering spiritual community.
The Sagaing Hills have long held a sacred place in Myanmar’s religious landscape. Known for its countless secluded monasteries and nunneries, the region has attracted spiritual seekers for centuries. But the earthquake struck with massive force, bringing down structures across the hills. In the two days following the disaster, there was no internet or mobile service, and the area was completely cut off; it wasn’t until mobile data was restored that news of the scale of the devastation began to emerge. But by then, valuable time had been lost. Those first 48 hours, when rescue efforts are most vital, came and went in silence and isolation.
According to Sayalay, the destruction was so widespread in Sagaing that it is almost indescribable. She describes monks lying underneath the rubble unable to be rescued, the terrible smell of decomposing of bodies wafting in the air, and a lack of clean water and medical supplies. The region is now totally reliant on outside help. However, critical infrastructure—which could facilitate that help—was either destroyed or badly damaged; in particular, this includes the key bridges across the wide Irrawaddy River connecting the town of Sagaing to Mandalay. “One is totally collapsed, but the other was damaged as well, with a crack on it, so not all the vehicles are allowed to pass over,” she says
The tragedy was magnified by the remote location of many of Sagaing’s spiritual sites. Sayalay describes how some nunneries are built deep in the hills, far from accessible roads, and difficult to reach on foot even during normal times. This is not accidental; these remote sites were sought out particularly for their unique seclusion.
Another impediment to rescue is one of the most heartbreaking aspects of the tragedy: the obstruction of relief efforts by the ruling military junta. The massive amount of rubble requires machinery to clear, but the junta restricts the movement of heavy equipment because of tight security measures and the regime’s paranoia. Volunteers are further limited by the military in what they can bring with them, and none of what is allowed is sufficient for proper rescue operations. Sayalay confirms reports of donors in Sagaing Town being stopped by junta-affiliated police. Just basic items like knives for cooking, or simple tools for rubble removal, could be confiscated. And although Sayalay acknowledges that some soldiers have helped in limited ways, she calls out their efforts as largely symbolic. What is worse, those who would have been the most helpful have either been arrested, conscripted, fled overseas, or are working underground as part of CDM; those that are still around are afraid to come out due to military appraisals.
But even when volunteers are not stopped by the military and if they do manage to finally reach a site, they’re often unequipped to deal with the severity of the damage. Moreover, the going rate for one hour of a machine capable of clearing away the rubble is 200,000 Myanmar kyat, around $50, which many nunneries cannot afford. And yet, large machinery like this is desperately needed, not just to provide closure to those who lost loved ones, but to prevent an environmental and health disaster due to the decomposing bodies.
Sadly, beyond the physical destruction is deep, psychological trauma. Survivors, especially young novices and nuns, are experiencing nightmares and post-traumatic stress. “One of the young nuns said she doesn’t live in the building at all… she just wants to live in the open space now,” Sayalay said. There have been reports of dreams and visitations involving the dead, sometimes believed to be ghostly presences of those still trapped under rubble. In one chilling example, a mother claimed her deceased son’s spirit had possessed her to beg for help, saying he was surrounded by still-living people trapped under rubble. When she pleaded with rescue workers to visit the site her son described, they were unable, given their limited resources.
Sayalay also mentions the longer-term fear that has set in, not just of future earthquakes, but of the regime and the general lawlessness that has plagued Myanmar since the military coup. “People…take advantage. This is my concern for the people living on the street, and they will not be able to live on the street for very long.”
Sayalay is not merely an observer to these events. Despite living abroad, she has a long history of humanitarian engagement. Prior to ordaining as a nun, she worked as a nurse and nursing lecturer in Singapore and volunteered with the International Red Cross. She has leveraged that experience, along with her Buddhist values, to create the Metta Stream Foundation, which she formed in 2022 in response to junta-led violence. Metta Stream is composed of monks, nuns, and lay supporters from around the world, and distributes direct aid to earthquake victims by connecting donors with trusted local coordinators. “I don’t keep any money with me. I will give them the contact number and the bank account of the victim so they can straight away send the money to them.”
Saylay’s spiritual commitment extends to teaching meditation. Rooted in the Mahasi tradition, she began meditating at age seven when Mahasi Sayadaw himself visited her village, and led retreats in rural areas outside of Monywa. In one particularly moving anecdote, she recalls a village where, after introducing meditation for the first time, the locals began to transform their lives through mindfulness and introspection. Strikingly, this village has remained largely untouched by violence in the four years following the military coup, a fact Sayalay sees as spiritually significant, as it is in a region that has seen heightened conflict.
Sayalay believes the practice of mindfulness and reflection can help survivors endure the suffering they face. “When you have the wise reflection, yoniso manasikara, whatever is happening now is not rootless,” she explained. “You will get the mindset that if you do good, you will be able to overcome it.” She references an 81-year-old nun from the Sagaing Hills who, despite the destruction around her, was still serene and cheerful. “She sits and smiles and talks… although her surrounding is massive destruction.”
Near the end of the interview, in response to a question on the topic of collective karma as an explanation of why Myanmar has suffered so much recently, Sayalay demurred, saying it is a complex topic that can easily lead to misunderstanding. She says that since she would only be able to address superficially at that time, it would be better to leave it as the subject for a future episode. “If I don’t cover it properly, the listeners will not be able to get the comprehensive understanding.”
Despite the immense pain and hardship, Sayalay’s tone is one of perseverance, faith, and action. Her appeal is not only for money or supplies, but for connection, solidarity, and continued compassion for the people of Myanmar from ordinary people around the world. Sayalay emphasizes the importance of viewing aid work as an extension of spiritual practice, a “pāramī donation,” a pure, selfless act free of expectations or reward. “When we practice mettā bhavana, it’s not only for us to recite…but we need to do it physically.”