Across the Universe
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“I'm really thankful, deeply grateful to music, because music was the vehicle. But music has limits, and that's that! That's what gave me the courage to release it, to let it go, and to now just dedicate to the life of a monk. Music brings happiness, but it has its limits. There are moments when silence takes over. Music can bring us to the edge, and then one who takes the continuation of that journey is silent.”
Bhikkhu Rahula's life is a story of transformation that spans continents and cultures, united by an unyielding search for spiritual understanding. Born in Guadalajara, Mexico, with the given name of Raul Saldana, he grew up in a traditional Catholic household, which planted the seeds of spiritual curiosity and laid the foundation for his lifelong quest. Despite having a fulfilling childhood surrounded by nature, family, and music, Raul began to question the rigidity of religious structures. By the age of 12, he had identified various inconsistencies between the Catholic faith's practices and its teachings. Feeling that something essential was missing, he quietly left the faith—and the search to fill that gap would move him to explore other spiritual traditions for decades to come.
Raul's journey was, at its core, experiential; in particular, he loved being in nature. During his late teenage years, he sought it out for a sense of spiritual connection, finding solace and inspiration in the quiet grandeur of the outdoors; he joined the Boy Scouts, where long nights under the open sky gave him the first glimpses of what he would later recognize as spiritual openness. The sense of freedom and vastness that nature provided became an enduring element in his life. His love of nature eventually led him to move to a nearby “ecological community,” one of a number of such communities that were established in Mexico around sustainable living, and that also embraced indigenous knowledge and alternative lifestyles.
There Raul met Chief Luciano Pérez, a Lakota Medicine Man, who introduced him to Native American spiritual ceremonies such as sweat lodges and Vision Quests. The sweat lodge, known as “Inipi” in Lakota culture, is a purification ceremony involving intense heat and prayer, aimed at cleansing both body and spirit. These experiences were pivotal—they combined the austerity of fasting, the sacredness of ritual, and a sense of oneness with nature. Raul found in these practices an immersive, experiential spirituality that was lacking in his earlier Catholic experiences. He participated in several Vision Quests, spending days alone in nature without food or water, seeking a deeper understanding of himself and his place in the world. During one of these quests, he participated in a ritual that involved the creation of a “coffin” with flags and a visit from the medicine man on the third day, who asked if Raul wanted to “go down”—a symbolic question about his readiness to endure the journey's hardships. These intense periods of reflection left a lasting impact on Raul, giving him a visceral experience of spirituality that was grounded, transformative, and free from dogma.
Raul's mother also became involved in this exploration. Initially worried about his exploration of Native American spirituality, particularly the Vision Quest, she soon found herself involved in those very ceremonies! She took part in sweat lodges, joined in an Aztec dance, and became a respected elder within the community, supporting others and deepening her spiritual path. This led to a deeper spiritual bond between them.
There was another aspect to Raul’s search as well—music. His mother, who had been influenced by the counterculture movement in the United States, introduced Raul to the likes of Ravi Shankar and The Beatles, which deeply shaped his worldview in its blending of Western and Eastern musical traditions. Raul began exploring various musical instruments—piano, flute, guitar—but his interest extended beyond the notes; it was about the deeper resonance and meaning they evoked. And as his spiritual journey intensified, music became deeply intertwined with his inner quest, each pursuit feeding into the other. For Raul, music was not only a profession, it became part of his spiritual journey.
Indian classical music, in particular, profoundly influenced him. Raul appreciated its roots in spiritual practice and its goal to connect both the performer and listener to the divine. Improvisation, surrender to sound, and experiencing a state of “flow” allowed Raul to touch moments of ecstasy that mirrored the spiritual freedom he was seeking. He traveled across India and Nepal, performing and learning the traditional music of the region.
It was not an easy time for him personally, however. He describes becoming confused spiritually and plagued by uncertainty. During a particularly challenging period in Nepal, Raul decided to embark on a trek in the Annapurna range to clear his mind. Amid his confusion and depression, he faced extreme paranoia, leading to a severe mental breakdown. However, the isolation, vastness and awe-inspiring majesty of the Himalayas ultimately provided the space for emotional healing, allowing for renewed clarity and perspective. Through this challenge, he realized an important insight: while the beauty and power of music could elevate the spirit, it, alone, could not sustain the deeper peace and fulfillment he was searching for.
Following his transformative experiences in Nepal, Rahula's spiritual journey took another turn. He began exploring Sufism, which he learned about through his Muslim teacher when studying how to play the sarangi. Sufism is the mystical branch of Islam; practitioners seek direct experience of God through music, dance, and poetry. He attended Sufi gatherings, known as “Sama,” where music and dance were used to induce a trance-like state that aimed to transcend the self and connect with the divine. Yet, despite the beauty of these practices, they also did not fully answer his questions about suffering and the nature of the mind.
Raul's first introduction to meditation was in the Hindu tradition. His practice, which involved mantra repetition and breath control, did provide him with a sense of inner peace, yet it still didn't go as far as he was hoping for. Raul continued to feel unsettled in his quest—a sense that this practice, too, fell short of addressing his more fundamental questions about suffering and the nature of the mind. This dissatisfaction led him to explore other spiritual traditions, finally steering him towards Buddhism.
In 2001, a moment of serendipity brought Raul to Dhamma Bhanu, a Vipassana meditation center near Kyoto, Japan, which is in the tradition of S.N. Goenka. During his retreat, Rahula found a path that resonated deeply, particularly because of its rational, systematic approach to understanding suffering. The practice appealed to him because of its emphasis on direct experience and practical wisdom, rather than blind faith. He found the clarity he was searching for in the cause-and-effect principles of Dhamma, which resonated with his need for a logical and experiential spiritual practice. In particular, Goenka’s Dhamma talk on the very first night of the retreat had a profound impact on him, providing immediate answers for his life-long questions.
This was the same year when, during a world music tour that passed through Macau, Raul met his future wife, Heidi. They attended several Vipassana retreats together and became committed meditators in the Goenka tradition; they spent the next few years practicing intensively, balancing their time between making a living through music and dedicating themselves to meditation. They visited Myanmar as well in 2004, drawn by Goenka’s frequent references to the origins of the practice there, and continued to visit off and on.
Eventually they moved to Myanmar, in 2008. As intensively as they had been practicing in the Goenka method, they did not feel it answered all of their spiritual questions, and felt the need to explore further. They spent time living in monasteries, which provided Raul the opportunity to observe the everyday life of monks, while participating in intensive meditation retreats and gaining insights from respected teachers. Myanmar's rich Buddhist culture also offered him the historical and cultural context he needed to understand the roots of the practice. His deep curiosity about the origins of Vipassana and the broader spectrum of Buddhist teachings prompted him to learn from other teachers as well—a task they proceeded with, despite Goenka’s admonitions against exploring other methodologies.
One teacher he was particularly drawn to was Sayadaw U Tejaniya, known for his relaxed yet consistent approach to mindfulness, and which emphasizes awareness in daily activities rather than just during formal sitting meditation. These teachings helped them to learn how to integrate mindfulness more fluidly into daily life, both within and outside the monastery grounds. Indeed, Sayadaw U Tejaniya's emphasis on informal yet continuous mindfulness was a revelation particularly for Raul. He now saw meditation not as an isolated practice but as an all-encompassing state of awareness applicable to every moment of life, whether in robes or as a layperson. This insight fundamentally changed how he approached his spiritual journey, breaking down the barriers between formal meditation and everyday activities.
Raul and Heidi had both experienced periods of ordaining and disrobing during their regular visits to Myanmar; Raul three times and Heidi twice. His initial forays into monastic life were marked by curiosity and exploration, but he often found himself drawn back to the lay world due to unresolved questions or personal and professional commitments. Despite these fluctuations, each period as a monk offered him profound insights and a deepening appreciation for the monastic path. Ultimately, Raul decided to ordain permanently, becoming Bhikkhu Rahula. In his final ordination, he felt a sense of completeness and an unshakeable commitment to the monastic life.
At the same time, his decision to remain a monk also meant a significant shift in his relationship with Heidi. Heidi supported Bhikkhu Rahula's decision, understanding his yearning to continue on the monastic path, though it now means they can no longer continue their life as a married couple in the conventional sense. He describes their relationship as one of mutual respect and spiritual camaraderie; Heidi continues her practice as a lay meditator, while Rahula fully embraces the monastic life. This transition, while challenging, has been marked by acceptance and a shared understanding of their respective spiritual needs.
Rahul deeply appreciates the structured lifestyle that monkhood now provides—a lifestyle that allows for uninterrupted practice and reflection. The monastic discipline, with its simplicity and lack of distraction, enables him to delve deeper into the Dhamma and explore the subtleties of the mind with greater clarity. Monkhood is the culmination of a spiritual journey; it is a path where he can fully dedicate himself to the pursuit of truth and the practice of mindfulness.
Today, Bhikkhu Rahula reflects on his journey as one of constant questioning, openness, and transformation. His life has been a tapestry woven from many threads—Catholicism, Native American spirituality, Sufism, Hinduism, and ultimately Buddhism. Each of these traditions offered him valuable insights, but it was the Buddha's teachings that provided the most comprehensive answers he had been seeking since childhood. The path from a curious child in Guadalajara to a Buddhist monk was neither straightforward nor easy, but it was a journey authentic to his quest for understanding the human condition.
His current plans include the establishment of Paññābhūmi Monastery in Mexico, a center aimed at sharing Dhamma practice and teachings. This monastery represents Rahula's desire to offer a place for others to explore the path he found so transformative. Supported by various organizations and like-minded individuals, this initiative is a continuation of his mission to make the benefits of the practice more accessible to people in his homeland.
“What happens with Buddhism, this faith, I could hold it! Otherwise, I would have run away very quickly. I love it! Buddhism does a different approach: It tells you the reason from A to B, cause-and-effect, cause-and-effect, cause-and-effect, and you arrive here. Finish! With the faith that arises from it, it is because of the understanding. Faith has no questions anymore. Faith is not vague. Faith is based on the fact. Man, do I love that faith, because that is powerful."
If you enjoyed this talk with Bhikkhu Rahula, consider these past episodes:
· Sayalay Khanticari describes how her journey from a Catholic upbringing in Colombia to becoming a Buddhist nun in Myanmar was sparked by a sense of dissatisfaction with material success, and a serendipitous introduction to meditation through travel. Her reflections reveal the power of meditation, illustrating how it offers a spiritual path of self-discovery and connection,.
· David Sudar shares how his extended time as a monk with Sayadaw U Tejaniya led to a pivotal insight into the nature of the mind: the profound separation of awareness from the objects of consciousness, which allows for a state free from clinging and grasping. His story demonstrates the transformative effects of sustained practice and mindfulness, highlighting how perseverance and an open, curious approach to meditation deepen awareness and cultivate a deepening sense of nonattachment.
· Ashin Sarana’s journey from the Czech Republic to Myanmar began with a fascination with psychic powers that led to an interest Buddhist teachings, ultimately moving him to seek enlightenment through monastic life. His story exemplifies an embrace of cultural integration and devotion, demonstrating the profound ways mindfulness and renunciation can inspire and unite communities.
· Sayalay Piyadassii notes that her spiritual path began in Lithuania, with an exploration of diverse spiritual traditions, before transitioning into a committed meditation journey that led to ordination as a Buddhist nun in Myanmar. Her experiences highlight the evolution of self-awareness through intense practice, study, and adaptation, showcasing the internal growth and acceptance cultivated through resilience and cultural integration on the spiritual path.
· Whit Hornsberger’s sudden basketball injury led to an extended exploration of self-healing, which ultimately brought him to Buddhist meditation. His reflections emphasize the power of mindfulness and yoga to transform physical and emotional suffering, illustrating the enduring resonance of mindfulness as a tool for overcoming challenges and achieving self-awareness.
· Ayya Yeshe encountered Buddhism during travels in India, and her experience as a Buddhist nun has been deeply shaped by a commitment to social justice, leading to the creation of a charity for marginalized communities in Indian slums. Her reflections underscore the intersection of personal spiritual growth and community engagement, illustrating how the values of equality, human dignity, and compassion extend Buddhist practice beyond individual liberation into social transformation.