In the Shadows of Trauma: A Coup Survivor's Battle in Taiwan
Darren is from the Ayeyarwady Region and is of Karen ethnicity. He is currently completing his postgraduate studies in Taiwan, majoring in Social Work at Tai Chung City. The story was collected on February 20, 2023.
“I think I’m suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) because whenever I hear a jet or helicopter, it really affects me and I get so tense. Once my professor had to remind me that we are safe in Taiwan. It’s also safe to go outside late at night here, but I don’t feel it, because my mind and soul are still in Myanmar.”
"I’ve been studying here for a year, and I will finish my studies at the end of June. However, my supervisor encouraged me to continue and do a PhD here, which might take three more years for me to finish. It is challenging being here because of the language barrier. For instance, if I want to create a card—like a transportation card—I have to go to an office where all the instructions are in Chinese. Besides, the food is sweet here and not to my taste. Additionally, the cultural differences are shocking! Like clearing your mucus while eating—we don't do that in our culture!
It was terrible when the military coup happened. I lost my job and had to apply for many positions back then. Although I had some money saved, it lost value due to inflation and it was difficult to survive. I was actually in my home village on vacation when the coup happened. I was doing exercise that day and found out about it on my way back home, but I couldn't believe it as I thought it was impossible under the 2008 constitution. I tried to reach out to my friends but couldn't, and I finally got confirmation of the coup from the news on MRTV-4.
At that time, I felt like my future disappeared as Daw Aung San Suu Kyi was detained. I arranged to return to Yangon to partake in the protests because it would not be easy to do it in my village; they have no interest in politics. When I returned to Yangon, I brought five Y-shaped slings with me as it is easy to get them in my village, and I was praying along the way not to get caught. When in Yangon, I participated in protests, silent strikes, and movements. There were a lot of young people joining. We got grenades thrown at us, and it was my first experience hearing explosions like that. I also oversaw some protests at night by leading the crowd and participating in pot-banging. I was in Yangon for two months, but due to security concerns I decided to return to my village.
Because of the circumstances, it was hard for me to get a job, and I felt like I couldn't do anything in Myanmar. Then I discussed with my teacher and family and applied for a scholarship. People around me encouraged me to study and said I could still help them, even from abroad.
However, I think I’m suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) because whenever I hear a jet or helicopter, it really affects me and I get so tense. Once my professor had to remind me that we are safe in Taiwan. It’s also safe to go outside late at night here, but I don’t feel it, because my mind and soul are still in Myanmar. So although I am not a direct victim, I am traumatized from the situation.
Additionally, when Nancy Pelosi visited Taiwan, I was afraid Taiwan would be invaded by China due to the rumors, so I questioned my Taiwanese friends. They said that they felt nothing because China always made threats. But I was still worried about the situation and tried to think of ways to escape or a place to hide if there were airstrikes. Our university has a basement, and I considered hiding there.
I am the first Burmese student at my university, but some senior students from India and Indonesia have helped me a lot. Besides, I have a lovely professor, and she is very supportive. As I am the first international student in my department, they had to arrange special things for me, such as having a one-on-one class with some professors. It is also hard to communicate with them. I did start learning Chinese and complete beginner level, but I would rather use English in daily life. In my dorm, I share a room with students from India, Indonesia and Vietnam (it is a dorm specifically for international students).
Although I currently live abroad, I always try to find ways to help my people. Once, I approached my professor, and she helped me collect some donations. I am currently volunteering as a teacher for Myanmar under the National Unity Government (NUG)’s Ministry of Education. I also keep trying to share information about Myanmar with my Taiwanese friends. I also wrote a concept note and proposal for humanitarian assistance. Then, I donate my time by working part-time as an English language teaching assistant at elementary and secondary schools.
Being far from home is not good; my soul is still in my country, although I am in Taiwan. However, I have to console myself: once I finish my studies, I will return to my country and participate in the restoration process. I hear and see the news that my people are suffering daily, which makes me feel bad and I miss my country a lot. I might not be able to do anything right now, but I plan to get involved later. Since I’m Christian, I’m coping with the homesickness and stress by praying to God.
When it comes to finances, I just use a bit of my earnings and donate the rest—I want to have a clear conscience and be a responsible citizen. I also do physical exercise, walking and running, and listening to music to refresh my mind. I keep myself busy and read a lot, and if I have nothing to do, I help my professor.
Currently, what gives me hope and keeps me going is the unity among the people of Myanmar, which was not witnessed in the past. I also count on the ability of the NUG and the People’s Defense Forces (PDF). Due to the military coup, I have observed that the intellectual level of people in politics is higher than before. After the revolution is successful, the country will develop at the speed of light!
I plan to finish my master's degree and continue to PhD level. After that, I will return to Myanmar to teach my people about social work. At the same time, I also plan to do fundraising for students who can’t go to school. My main goal for my future is to help my country's restoration process.
In the future, I want Myanmar's citizens to be reliable and committed. Some people do not think politics concerns them, and I want those people to become more responsible citizens. One important thing for our country is for people to be punctual as well. Human resources in the country must serve the nation with genuine intentions. Politically, I believe in federal democracy, but I think it is early to talk about it, and the current task is to fight back to the military."
These stories are collected by the Real Stories Not Tales team. Real Stories Not Tales is a dedicated team in and out of Myanmar that aims to bring awareness to the reality of people's lives since the Myanmar military staged a coup on February 1st, 2021. Stories are collected through interviews with each protagonist by the team, either in Burmese or in English. Each character is drawn by a professional illustrator. RSNT is an anonymous name that is used by the group to guarantee security to all parties involved in the collection of the stories.