Seeking Freedom
Editor’s note: These posts are part of a collaboration between Tea Circle and Insight Myanmar to publish Report #3 by Real Stories Not Tale’s (RSNT). To read RSNT’s Report #1, visit Tea Circle’s posts here and Insight Myanmar’s posts here. The full RSNT Report #3 is available here. For all posts by RSNT featured on our site, check out the full list.
“My family could be considered conservative, but they have changed their perception and appreciation of women.”
Ella is a women’s rights NGO worker; she is from Kachin State and identifies as a Gadu ethnic. She was interviewed on November 18th, 2021.
"I work for a women's rights NGO in Myanmar. Just before the coup, we had been preparing to give awareness training to women from different communities. We are based in Yangon, but we work all around the country.
The morning of the coup, I was in a deep sleep. I only got a phone call from my uncle as I was waking up, and he informed me of what had just happened. I had never had this kind of experience before, and it felt as if everything was surreal—as if I was in a dream. I kept calling friends and family until I realized maybe it had really happened and that we would need to do something. So, we started organizing, mobilizing, gathering and walking in the streets.
Soon after the first protests took place, my organization and I came to the mutual agreement that I should take unpaid leave and distance myself from them as my participation in the strike/protest movement could harm the staff. As a result, I didn’t work from February 2021 to August 2021.
And so, from February 6th, we took to the streets and protested as much as possible, non-violently, demanding the junta give back our government and democracy. We created a striking committee that included women and diverse ethnicities, and had decision-making processes, and we released statements now and then. We protested every single day. On March 8th, 2021—International Women’s Day—we organized a protest with women’s htameins (traditional skirts) hanging on strings in the streets, and men also wore htameins that day, either as a skirt or around their heads, to show their appreciation. We were proud of women’s participation and power that day. That same night, 200 young people were caught in Sanchaung district and surrounded by soldiers. I was one of them. The soldiers traced and tracked us all night long. People in houses and apartments in the neighborhood kept us as safe as possible, but some of us were arrested that night. I was hiding together with two friends, and we had to move between houses three times until a car from my organization came and picked us up as discreetly as possible—we managed to escape.
We continued protesting after that. Every day was a struggle; we had to hide and organize the movement at the same time. We were constantly on the move. We had some underground meetings; we exchanged with the National Unity Government (NUG) and the Committee Representing Pyidaungsu Hluttaw (CRPH). However, in April, the situation became scary and even more dangerous. Many of us were arrested, and so was my fiancé. My heart broke that day. I felt broken and desperate—I cried so much. I also thought I needed to keep a low profile after that. So, we continued protesting, but online this time, using social media to send messages to Myanmar people and the international community.
However, protesting didn’t feel the same after that. I still dared to post on social media, but I was tired, stressed and very sad. I felt as if I needed to find some stability again; I needed to change my lifestyle. So, I decided to live alone, in a safe place. I started cycling, reading, and meeting with friends—ones who haven’t been arrested or left the country. I am doing things that help sooth my heart. In August 2021, I started working with my organization again. I have started doing assessments around the country again and researching how the situation has affected women and the struggle some are facing. I collect data from women every day. I can’t go to the office, none of my colleagues can. But we are still working online.
I miss my fiancé every single day, and I am worried for his life. I can’t go to prison myself because it would be too dangerous. I received two letters from him since his arrest, and in the first one, he said he was very sick and had been tortured. I know he has been sent to hospital, but I don’t know much more.
When I think about the future, I am very unsure of what will happen. I had been preparing to move abroad, but I felt guilty to leave my family and friends behind. Some people are sacrificing their lives, are being killed every day; why should I have the chance to have another life outside of Myanmar? Every day we get bad news: just this morning, I heard one of my cousins was killed, and yesterday, I got the news that another cousin had been arrested in the middle of the night. Most of my family is hiding in the forest. Both my sister and brother are CDMers from the medical field, and they are in hiding so they don’t get arrested. So, I have decided to help as much as I can—as much as is in my power. I started a small business in Yangon, and I try to get enough money regularly to send to my family and my community for their survival.
I have a lot of strong and committed women friends and colleagues. All of them are trying hard to help the women of Myanmar during these days, and even before all this happened. I have also participated in many activities and projects to try and get justice for women. But I am surprised that my family has been supportive of my involvement in the movement. My brother even told me he was proud of me, something that we women in Myanmar rarely hear. My family could be considered conservative, but they have changed their perception and appreciation of women.
Women have faced a lot of complicated situations from participating in the movement. Many CDM workers have lost their jobs, and many have had to return to their communities where they have not been welcomed back. Some of those women are not earning money anymore and face a tough time. Before, they were able to help their relatives, but now they can’t, which disappoints their families, and this situation leads to more abuse. Domestic violence and abuse have always been very present in Myanmar but have increased since the Covid/coup situation. It’s hard, so many women are victims, and when they try to get justice or even just be heard they face an unfair justice system that neither defends their rights nor protects them. That’s also one of the reasons I chose to live alone: I do not wish to face hardship from men. Family members sometimes don’t know how to treat each other well. Men might also have a habit of drinking, and one of their ways to release stress is to be aggressive. How can women defend themselves in those situations?
In the movement, I have seen good and bad things. The striking committee tried to get women to participate but failed to create a system to protect women. If there is a crackdown, we need to know how to protect and take care of women to keep them safe. There is this big misunderstanding in Myanmar around gender equality: because Aung San Suu Kyi is very influential and respected, people say: “You see, she is a woman! We have gender equality in Myanmar.” But it is not just about one woman; it is about ALL women in every single state. Furthermore, gender equality and women’s rights are two very different things. In gender, there is more than women: there is woman AND man, LGBT+ people, etcetera. I must say, though, I have seen an improvement since the coup in men’s attitudes towards women. International Women’s Day was special—it was a hit! We also see women leadership and participation in the movement. For example, it was two women that led the first public protest in Yangon.
To keep healthy, I also decided to reserve my energy for what matters and avoid any toxic events or situations I could find myself in. For example, sometimes I refuse to join striking committee meetings because I know it might drain me. Now, I prefer to reflect on what is best for myself and decide accordingly.
Once we win, I wish for Myanmar to be a REAL federal democracy. I want to be part of building a new country. I want a country in which women and children have power. Women can change the world, and we need more participation from us to change and improve our society, our lives, our future and our country."
Real Stories Not Tales (RSNT) is a dedicated team in and out of Myanmar that aims to bring awareness to the reality of young people’s lives since the Myanmar military staged a coup on February 1st, 2021. Stories are collected through interviews with each protagonist by the team, either in Burmese or in English. Each character is drawn by a professional illustrator bringing a visual context to the story. RSNT is an anonymous name that is used by the group to guarantee security to all parties involved in the collection of the stories.