A Personal Moment
I'm going to write about something that I have been grappling with for two weeks, and could not bring myself to write until now. For someone who is never that comfortable in the spotlight, and much more interested in keeping that focus on the content itself (which is usually some aspect of the Dhamma in Myanmar), this will be the first truly personal message I have ever posted from this account.
I started the Burma Dhamma blogpost in around 2013. I didn't think know if anyone ever read it, I just enjoyed posting my own observations and insights about a place so few foreign meditators had prolonged access to. One day a meditator friend linked the blog to Facebook so that "Burma Dhamma blog" posts would go directly to a "Burma Dhamma" Facebook page that he set up. For many years, I totally forgot about this and had no idea an audience of thousands was steadily growing there. I had no idea anyone at all was reading this stuff. I just liked to write.
One day someone showed me the Facebook page, and I was amazed to find so many interactions and questions. This gradual re-entry into social media was initially predicated on the desire to parcel out bits and pieces of the literally thousands of draft pages I was writing for the meditator's guide. But over the years I came to see this as something more, like a commitment to serve the meditator community by sharing what I could, whether it was from those pages or not. Because the kinds of stuff I was interested in, I just didn't find anywhere else, and I thought others might feel the same way. A little history of a pagoda, an anecdote of a Sayadaw, a Burmese expression, once in a while an original essay about a topic I cared about, and whatever else.
About one year ago, my dream came true when I received a surprise donation to start a podcast. I've never claimed to be an authoritative scholar, but one thing I'm really good at is listening well, being curious, and asking questions, and I do happen to have had the fortune to have met a number of inspiring people. Oh, and I'm very persistent! So it was the perfect platform for me, and a blessing to bring these voices and stories direct, without modification, to the meditator world.
I guess the final chapter in this saga concerns the role of our platform at this present moment, and during this current crisis. I realized very clearly that "this is our time," and there is a role to play as never before. The Dhamma is so central to Myanmar, as all of us know, and so little understand as this current issue is playing out. In an interview for the podcast I recorded yesterday, a Burmese nun in Europe points out how unconditional "metta in action" during the protests was actually leading to not just progress but also harmony and well-being. How important is it to tell these stories, especially now! This is not just metta from a cushion, this is a meditative power reinventing the nonviolence of the Civil Rights Movement in the US and Gandhi in India. People need to know this!
Forgive the length, but as I said, this was a post I put off writing as long as I could, until I realized I am not acting with integrity to avoid it any longer. I'm embarrassed to talk about myself so directly, but I have to state the limitations that are encroaching on me. Let me state that in all the Dhamma projects I've done, I've never taken a stipend, nor have I ever charged for any of what I've created. In the beginning this was easy, as I was a Dhamma bum living in remote Burmese monasteries, and more recently, I was able to meet basic necessities through householder involvements in Myanmar. With the situation there now as it is, this has also been impacted. There is a basic living cost to maintain, and with the loss of livelihood in Myanmar, I do not know how I can sustain this activity here.
This is incredibly painful for me to say, since now more than ever is the time when I believe that this kind of information is needed most. Truth be told, I would like to be at this 24/7, and there are more than enough interviews and stories to fill that time with. I believe they are important to tell, and I do not see this kind of content elsewhere at the moment. But I also have a responsibility in the world that like everything else, has been torn asunder.
Over the past year, I have tried my hand at fundraising, but it has never really gotten off the ground in a successful way. We've been able to cover our costs, but not much more, and certainly have not been able to make this project sustainable. So this is a reality to accept.
Well, this has been a long message, a personal one, and a somewhat uncomfortable one as well for someone not used to sharing this way. But let me wrap it up with two points.
First, for those who have the means and volition to give, in order to see this work continued over the next several weeks and months and possibly more, in the form of podcasts, essays, photos, and videos, please consider supporting us during this time. Similarly, for those who are gifted with an ability to fundraise, or know people or organizations in a position to contribute, please be in touch.
Second, I will use whatever funds are available for as long as possible to sustain this project. But given how the donation goes, and how the situation in Myanmar goes, I may need to take leave and discontinue this work, and wish you farewell. And knowing this is the reality I'm facing, it's unfair not to share it with you, and let you know what may be coming.
Thank you for giving me the chance to step atop the internet soapbox.